Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can you can, if you think you can’t, you’re probably right”.
As stress is a perception and its outcome can be anything from a minor tummy upset, to back and neck pain, to a total body collapse, and in an extreme state cardiac arrest, and death can result.
Situational stress can be a reason why some individuals live miserable lives.
About twenty-five years ago I had an Italian woman come to see me in an extremely stressed state and suffering from very chronic low back pain. For privacy reasons we will call the woman Rosa.
Low back pain can be caused by many things such as accidents, slips, falls, jars, jolts and jerks on the physical level. It can also be caused by a person feeling deeply unsupported on an emotional level and severe pain can be the outcome from years of psychological abuse.
Rosa was in her early fifties and a process worker. She was fit, strong and had no history of any accidents or physical trauma at any time in her life. Her pain was always worse at home when she woke in the morning, it subsided when she arrived at work, and it always started again while travelling home after work each day. At home on non-work days such as the weekends and holidays the low back pain was constant during waking hours.
She had been everywhere seeking help and no one could explain to her why at work she was pain free.
Rosa was married and had a 27 year old single daughter and a 25 year old single son who both lived at home. Her husband and two adult children treated her as their slave. Rosa’s daily schedule at home was to rise at 4am, clean, make the food, do the washing, hang it out, make lunches for all four of them, then wake her husband and two children when the chores were done and a good full cooked breakfast was ready.
Every afternoon after eight hours of heavy physical labour at work, Rosa would trudge home and begin the next phase of her daily chores. Shopping on route, cook the meals, wash up, more cleaning, ironing everyone’s cloths and all the other tasks associated with being a high level home-maker. Her day would end after 11pm allowing her about five hours sleep each night.
This was her routine 365 days a year, year after year, even when they went on their annual holidays.
Her husband and children liked to drink every night and watch TV with their feet up. Rosa was also a busy Barmaid running to and fro with beer and wine when they needed refills.
WOW!!! what a woman, what a dedicated wife and mother.
Rosa was living a guilt trip as her perception was that if she did not fill the maid and servant role her husband and children had cast her into, then they would NOT LOVE HER.
Being a ‘doormat’ had created massive stress in her life and her severe chronic low back pain was due to emotional abuse and constant bullying.
For the first six weeks Rosa came to our centre for care three visits a week. On every visit I gave her an Expect A Miracle card as well as adjusting her and working on assisting her to release years and years of stored pent up negative and toxic emotions.
Each visit Rosa would say to me, “You gave me a Miracle card last visit”, and I would reply, “And you are still miserable”.
Finally, on her 19th visit, Rosa arrived and she was smiling for the first time. Also, her low back pain was greatly reduced.
Her stress level had dropped dramatically and she was happy and on the road to recovery.
She said to me, “I finally understood after my last visit that I can Expect A Miracle, and receive one, if I say NO to my husband and children and stop doing EVERYTHING for them.”
As Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can you can, if you think you can’t, you’re probably right”.
If you would like to immerse yourself in two days of creating your own unique Stress Management Toolkit with tools and strategies that build your resilience and lead you to the calm, then join us in Brisbane on 13 & 14 August for the Stress to Strength Experience Workshop. We have a fantastic team of qualified Stress Management Practitioners who will guide and mentor you through the processes. Plus you’ll have lots of fun and go home relaxed and de-stressed.
To join us, register at www.stresstostrength.com/experience/